Just a few new items meriting discussion in the church this update:

Firstly, I'd like to personally welcome several new members to the congregation. In addition, we welcome with a raised glass, two new honorable clergy members who have gone above and beyond the call of duty in upholding the virtues and tenets of Our Lady of Malted Barley and Hops.

A gentleman who has worked in conjunction with me for several months in preaching the word--has been ordained by myself with the dubious title of Deacon Swizzlestick for his work in furthering our personal research on the effects of the fermented beverage on Unix C/C++ programming. We have recently started the planning stage of a newer, more profitable research project on the effects of the fermented beverage on internet development services...we hope for this to be a successful scientific venture.

And next on the list, I have inducted the Reverend John L. Ferri, of the notoriously revered Church of the Profit($), into our humble fellowship. Previously ordained through the ULC, the Reverend Ferri has, for several years, inundated the masses with the ideals of truth, and freedom of choice

Due to time constraints delegated toward more profitable ventures, I have decided to lessen the frequency of sermons to monthly or less rather than a weekly posting as originally anticipated.

During my online research, I stumbled upon an article of interest that I thought may be of interest to my fellow brothers and sisters of the faith. Though the document itself is fairly dated, it is timeless to all in the grand scheme of the universe. I apologize in advance if this particular article has previously passed your pupils, but it is relevant to the cause, and merits discussion.

During 1991 - 1992, Professor Tom Millar, along with his colleagues Drs. Geoff Macdonald and Rolf Habing, were performing spectroscopic studies of a gaseous cloud around a star in the G34.3 + 0.15 region of space (about 10,000 light years from earth). Unexpectedly, they determined that the prevalent compound of this cloud was ethyl alcohol, also a primary compound in our own fermented sacrament. This cloud is of a volume over 1000 times that of our own solar system. (1)

After lengthy scientific calculations that only those persons with PhDs or at least a TI-82 could even attempt to perform, it was determined that this gaseoud cloud contained the alcoholic equivalent of 400 trillion trillion liters of beer (thats litres to you UK folk). That's more than enough beer to last humanity an eternity!!

Since then, researchers from the UMIST(UK) and NASA-Ames Astrophysics departments have theorized that this is a natural phenomenon occuring before and during the "birth" of a star....making it possible to date its origin. This only shows us that the universe contains its own form of fermentation, and that it is essentially eternal in nature....it has been around long before humanity, and will be here long after this ball of mud we call home is eaten up by our ever-growing friend Sol.

It appears we have found another clue in our quintessential quest for the eternal brew...the heavens are teeming with our sacrament...all we require is hoppiness for salvation, and a tall frosty mug to contain it.

Reverend jarboy bidding you a cool and frothy evening...may the Goddess of Grains keep you hearty and hale, and most importantly...be excellent to each other.

Rev j
Bibo, ergo sum

(1) Portions of this sermon were paraphrased from the article "Alcohols in Space," Mainstream Magazine of the UMIST
 Association, Issue 19, Autumn 1995.

The graphic is a public domain image of the Trifid Nebula from the Web Nebula homepage. The Trifid Nebula (NGC 6514) is illuminated by the triple star CC 24537 with an assumed distance of 5,200 light years from earth.